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frugality

Unger & Thirst

Fast Food Chain Sells Farmer Sausage Filled with 80% Sawdust

January 26, 2019 Andrew

BLUMENHOCH, MB A new Mennonite fast food chain has been caught cutting corners by filling their farmer sausage mostly with sawdust. “It seems they’re taking notes from their fast food competitors,” said local food critic […]

Unger & Thirst

“I Could Make it Myself Better and Cheaper”: Mennonite Woman Refuses to Buy Anything at Church Bake Sale

January 18, 2019 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB While examining the offerings at the Grunthal Church fundraising bake sale this week, Mrs. Kehler refused to buy a single item, claiming that everything she saw she “could easily make at home much […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Loops Parking Lot for an Hour to Avoid Paying for Parking

January 12, 2019 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Local man Jeremy Goerzen, 39, was picking up his friends at the airport who were visiting from Manitoba. Unfortunately the flight was delayed and so, instead, of paying ten dollars to park, Jeremy […]

Unger & Thirst

Grandma Stocks Up On Discount Christmas Oranges For Next Year

January 1, 2019 Andrew

CHORTITZ, SK Mrs. Harms, 71, of Chortitz is already stocking up on Mandarin oranges, pistachio pudding mix, salted peanuts and halva for next year’s Christmas celebration. “It’s absolute madness at the grocery store today,” said […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Family Forced to Wear Their Parkas Indoors So Dad Can Save on the Hydro Bill

December 5, 2018 Andrew

WINKLER, MB The Doerksen family of Winkler have been wearing their long underwear a lot this winter, thanks to Mr. Doerksen’s insistence that “no one better touch that darn thermostat!” “They keep raising the hydro […]

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