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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Confuses Genealogy Website for Dating App

October 8, 2018 Andrew

NEW BOTHWELL, MB Aghast at the prices of more famous ancestry websites, local woman Amy Penner decided to subscribe to Grandma’s Window, a much more affordable website dedicated exclusively to Russian Mennonite genealogy. The problem […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Tinkers with Grandma Penner’s Recipes

October 6, 2018 Andrew

HOCHFELD, MB For the past three years, local bachelor Darryl Penner, 41, has been attempting to improve his grandmother’s beloved Mennonite recipes and, just this past weekend, he finally decided to reveal his improved versions […]

Unger Conviction

Pastor’s Son to Take Over the Family Business

September 27, 2018 Andrew

HOUSTON, TX After announcing senior pastor Jim’s retirement from full-time ministry this past week, the Big Tex Gospel Church and Smokehouse in Houston has already chosen a successor to lead the church into the future. […]

Unger Suspicion

The Truth About Bert and Ernie Finally Revealed!

September 20, 2018 Andrew

SESAME STREET, KS After decades of rumours, the truth about Sesame Street residents Bert and Ernie has finally been revealed! In an exclusive interview with the Daily Bonnet, Ernie admitted what we had all been […]

Quizzes

Growing up Mennonite, what were you FORBIDDEN from doing?

September 19, 2018 Andrew

Mennonite homes are known for having a lot of rules…but not everyone’s rules were the same. From the list below, click on each activity that was NOT allowed, or at least seriously frowned upon, in […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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