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Unger Suspicion

Local Man Signals His Own Virtue By Calling Out Virtue Signalling

June 11, 2020 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Area man Alex Schmidt, 42, was so sick and tired of “virtue-signalling liberals” on social media that he decided to openly pronounce his own virtuousness by calling them out. “I’m sick and tired […]

Unger Suspicion

Local Man Solves All the World’s Problems with a Single Tweet

June 9, 2020 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC In a heroic act of self-sacrifice and solidarity with marginalized people, local man Mr. Toews, 31, took a break from playing Call of Duty: Black Ops 4 to tweet out the following message to his […]

The Daily Bonnet

Facebook Rolls Out New ‘Disapproving Mennonite Grandma’ Reaction Button

May 3, 2020 Andrew

WINKLER, MB After finding the new ‘hug’ reaction to be a little too intimate for their liking, Mennonites demanded a reaction button that was more suited to their general inclinations. In response to their demands, […]

The Daily Bonnet

New FaceApp Just Makes Everyone Look Like a Mennonite

July 18, 2019 Andrew

ST. PETERSBURG, RUSSIA A popular new social media app called FaceApp allows people to add wrinkles, grey hair, and a long beard to see what they’ll look like decades into the future. “Basically they’re turning […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Introduces New Social Network Called ‘Knipschat’

July 3, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB From the heart of the Mennonite Silicon Valley comes a brand new social network called ‘Knipschat.’ The new app allows users to post pictures of themselves knipsing, knitting, or knoodeling. “The best thing […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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