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The Daily Bonnet

Local Man Turns 40, or 65 in ‘Mennonite Years’

November 9, 2019 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local man Andy Unrau turned 40 this weekend, though he was not nearly as eager to celebrate the occasion as one might expect. “If you do the math, that’s 65 in Mennonite years,” […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Takes Three Hours to Type One Text Message

July 7, 2019 Andrew

BOW ISLAND, AB Breanne Toews, 17, had to wait a full three hours to receive a reply to the simple text message she sent her grandmother this week. Breanne had asked her grandmother whether she […]

Unger Suspicion

Local Phone Book Now Offered Exclusively in Large Print

May 27, 2019 Andrew

STEINWERK, MB The annual local phone book will now be available exclusively in large print. The change is seen as a way of catering to the only demographic that still actually uses phone books. “The town […]

The Daily Bonnet

Porch Swing Launches Mennonite Grandma into Neighbour’s Yard

May 23, 2019 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Mrs. Penner was sent flying into the Goosen’s yard last night after an overly vigorous session on the porch swing. “Oba, I was out tending the BBQ and I looked up and what […]

The Daily Bonnet

World’s Oldest Living Mennonite Fondly Reminisces About the 1908 World Series

November 3, 2016 Andrew

CHICAGO, IL Henry Baerg, who turned 114 in September, has not followed baseball much in the last 90 years or so, but fondly recalls the last time the Chicago Cubs won the World Series. “Oba, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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