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donald trump

Unger Games

Donald Trump Tells Iran He Holds All the Cards

May 13, 2026 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC In his most emphatic statement to date, US President Donald Trump has told Iranian authorities to give up because he holds all the Dutch Blitz cards. “I’ve got all the cards. All the […]

Unger the Influence

James Comey Indicted Over ‘606 47’ Seashell Photo

May 3, 2026 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Former FBI director James Comey was indicted this week after posting a photo of seashells that had been arranged to spell ‘606 47.’ “You know what that means?” said President Trump. “Quite frankly […]

Unger Suspicion

Killing People Only Way to Achieve Lasting Peace, Leaders Insist

April 8, 2026 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC It seems the so-called ceasefire in the Middle East lasted oh, about, three minutes, which world leaders claim is actually really good and just part of the plan. “The only way to achieve […]

Unger Suspicion

Pam Bondi Offered Promising New Career in Multilevel Marketing

April 3, 2026 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC It didn’t take long for recently unemployed Attorney General Pam Bondi to land on her feet. “The church ladies have always got your back,” said Bondi. “Everyone was coming up to me in […]

Unger Games

Trump to Award Connor Helleybuyck Nation’s Highest Honour: The Undisputed Champion of Beautiful Clean Coal

February 25, 2026 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC President Trump announced this afternoon that he would be awarding Winnipeg Jets/Team USA goaltender Connor Helleybuyck the nation’s highest civilian honour. “And that, of course, is that made up coal trophy I was […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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