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Unger & Thirst

Mourners Devastated After Mennonite Funeral Runs Short on Raisin Buns

September 5, 2019 Andrew

SOUTH BLUMENORT, MB Thousands of Mennonites were expecting to gorge on raisin buns at the Wiebe funeral this past week, but were left “completely devastated” after the organizers ran out of their supply after just […]

Unger Suspicion

Local Woman Dies While On Hold With Phone Company

May 8, 2019 Andrew

PANSY, MB Local woman Mrs. Goerzen passed away this week after a long and courageous battle to change her data package with her service provider. Goerzen was reportedly on hold with the company since early […]

The Daily Bonnet

Death Plays Crokinole Game for Mennonite Man’s Life

March 23, 2019 Andrew

WATERLOO, ON The Grim Reaper, aka Death, appeared to Mr. Snyder in Waterloo this weekend intent on taking him with him. Mr. Snyder, however, knowing that Death had a competitive streak, challenged him to a […]

The Daily Bonnet

Last Remaining Man at Senior’s Home Has Women Scrambling for His Attention

January 16, 2019 Andrew

AYLMER, ON At 88 years young, Mr. George Wiebe is the last man standing at the Aylmer Menno Home. While he does occasionally miss the chance to talk about the price of hogs these days […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Woman Dies, Donates Her Organs

November 29, 2018 Andrew

CHORTITZ, SK Local woman Mrs. Wiebe passed away peacefully in her sleep this past Sunday. Thankfully, however, she signed her organ donor card and her wide selection of electric home organs have gone to someone […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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