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curling

Unger Games

Jennifer Jones Finds Curlers in Altona

February 22, 2023 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Manitoba’s greatest athlete Jennifer Jones has scoured the province for curlers and managed to find a pair in Altona of all places. “People kept telling me, ‘Jennifer, if you want a set of […]

Unger Games

Canadian Supreme Court Rules ‘Curling is a Real Sport’

October 4, 2022 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON In a 6-3 decision, the Supreme Court of Canada ruled today that “curling is actually a real sport, eh.” “Weighing all the evidence, it’s quite clear that curling is a sport,” said Judge […]

Unger Games

Canadians Celebrate as List of ‘Sports We Don’t Suck At’ Balloons to Two

March 27, 2022 Andrew

TORONTO, ON Canadian sports fans were left in absolute ecstasy this afternoon after the Canadian Men’s Soccer Team qualified for the World Cup for the first time in 36 years, thus ballooning the number of […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Wins National Curling Championship

March 1, 2021 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Mary Dueck, 58, of La Crete, Alberta has taken home the 2021 Canadian Women’s Curling Championship by successfully leaving a set of ten pink plastic rollers on her head for a record six […]

Unger Games

NFL to Adopt New “Thriftier” 80-Yard Field for Upcoming Season

August 25, 2019 Andrew

OAKLAND, CA Spurred on by all the positive feedback from the game in Winnipeg last week, the National Football League formally announced today that they would be using a much shorter and “thriftier” field for […]

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