The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

curling

Unger Games

Steinbach Mayor Wins Grand Slam of Butchering

January 12, 2026 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB After fierce competition all week, Steinbach mayor Earl Funk came home with gold medal in the Grand Slam of Butchering this week. “His farmer sausages in the 8th end were what really did […]

Unger Games

Mennonites Excited for Grand Slam of Curling in Steinbach

January 3, 2026 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Curling fans from across the world will be descending on the small Mennonite community of Steinbach this week to witness the curling elite in action. “Normally we just get to see Mrs. Loewen’s […]

Unger Games

Curling Match Cancelled After Mennonite Men Refuse to Cast the First Stone

September 23, 2023 Andrew

ALTONA, MB The curling season in Altona, Manitoba has been postponed this weekend after Mr. Plett and Mr. Kroeker both refused to cast the first stone. “I blame Pastor Ron,” said local curling fan Dave […]

Unger Games

Jennifer Jones Finds Curlers in Altona

February 22, 2023 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Manitoba’s greatest athlete Jennifer Jones has scoured the province for curlers and managed to find a pair in Altona of all places. “People kept telling me, ‘Jennifer, if you want a set of […]

Unger Games

Canadian Supreme Court Rules ‘Curling is a Real Sport’

October 4, 2022 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON In a 6-3 decision, the Supreme Court of Canada ruled today that “curling is actually a real sport, eh.” “Weighing all the evidence, it’s quite clear that curling is a sport,” said Judge […]

Posts pagination

1 2 3 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Mennonites Rush to Get Their Cars Outside During Hail Storm
    June 15, 2018
  • Mennonite Man Fits Entire Bag of Spitz in His Mouth at Once
    October 3, 2020
  • Mennonite Woman Enjoys Delicious Steaming Cup of Pripps
    December 11, 2019
  • A List of Better Secular Alternatives to Wholesome Christian Rock Bands
    June 27, 2018
  • New ‘Plandemic’ Doc is the Comedy Smash Hit of the Season
    May 8, 2020

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved