The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

crokinole

The Daily Bonnet

Mixup at Family Gathering Has Mr. Penner Knipsing for a Triple Word Score

October 10, 2020 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB Normally Mr. Penner can be pretty confident that he’ll come out on top anytime the knipsbrat board is placed in front of him. But a mixup with the knipsers this afternoon really had […]

The Daily Bonnet

Major League Knipsbrat to Return July 23

June 25, 2020 Andrew

ST. JACOBS, ON The stars of the crokinole world have gathered in the hub city of St. Jacobs, Ontario this week for the commencement of the 2020 Major League Knipsbrat season. The season has been […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Severely Injures Knipsing Finger

May 17, 2020 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON The global crokinole community was in shock this week after star flicker Mr. Funk went down with an injury to his knipsing finger. “The crokinole world has never seen anything like this, especially […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Being Extra Careful These Days

March 13, 2020 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC The Abbotsford Men’s Crokinole League is taking extra precautions these days and has implemented a league-wide policy requiring knipsers to wrap their knipsing fingers in plastic bags. “We are taking every measure to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Uncle Henry Caught Shooting from the Front Line

November 24, 2019 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON Uncle Henry has been arrested and is being held in the local Mennonite church basement this week after being caught shooting from the top of five-point zone. “I’ve always wondered how he got […]

Posts pagination

« 1 … 3 4 5 … 7 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Cold Reception in Church Lobby Sparks New Ice Age
    July 16, 2018
  • Mennonite Publisher Releases Extra-Wide Bibles to Keep the Boys and Girls Farther Apart
    August 16, 2018
  • Mennonite Pastor Asks for Standing Desk, Told He Already Has One
    April 30, 2018
  • Mennonite Marriage Counselor Advises Cousins to Stay Together
    July 17, 2021
  • Congress to Do Everything in its Power to Do Absolutely Nothing
    May 26, 2022

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved