The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

crokinole

The Daily Bonnet

2020 Knipsbrat League Standings

December 16, 2020 Andrew

The 2020 Co-Ed Knipsbrat League is in full swing and with just a few regular seasons matches remaining, the top pairs are vying for the post-season. Let’s have a look at the standings as we […]

The Daily Bonnet

Major League Knipsbrat to Return July 23

June 25, 2020 Andrew

ST. JACOBS, ON The stars of the crokinole world have gathered in the hub city of St. Jacobs, Ontario this week for the commencement of the 2020 Major League Knipsbrat season. The season has been […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Severely Injures Knipsing Finger

May 17, 2020 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON The global crokinole community was in shock this week after star flicker Mr. Funk went down with an injury to his knipsing finger. “The crokinole world has never seen anything like this, especially […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Being Extra Careful These Days

March 13, 2020 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC The Abbotsford Men’s Crokinole League is taking extra precautions these days and has implemented a league-wide policy requiring knipsers to wrap their knipsing fingers in plastic bags. “We are taking every measure to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Uncle Henry Caught Shooting from the Front Line

November 24, 2019 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON Uncle Henry has been arrested and is being held in the local Mennonite church basement this week after being caught shooting from the top of five-point zone. “I’ve always wondered how he got […]

Posts pagination

« 1 … 3 4 5 … 7 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Mennonite Woman Walks Around All Day with Kale in Her Teeth
    August 5, 2019
  • Adorable Mennonite Child Becomes Millionaire Selling Chocolates to Old People
    March 25, 2018
  • Tabloid Reports Corny Rempel Sightings at Local Gas Station
    February 18, 2020
  • Mannanite Man Can’t Hear His Own Acksant
    December 2, 2016
  • Dutch Blitz Players Now Required to Wear Full Body Armour
    June 13, 2017

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved