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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Just Happens to Find Unattended Amazon Packages on Front Doorsteps All Over Town

July 11, 2021 Andrew

VEBRÄATJATHAL, MB Mr. Vebräatja, 47, of Vebräatjathal, Manitoba considers himself the luckiest Mennonite in the region after discovering dozens of unattended Amazon packages on front door steps all over town this weekend. “Waut de hunt […]

Unger Suspicion

Maxime Bernier Attracts Just Barely Enough Supporters to Get Himself Arrested

June 11, 2021 Andrew

ST. PIERRE, MB People’s Party leader Maxime Bernier was just beginning his cross-Manitoba ‘Freedom’ tour, when he was arrested in St. Pierre for attracting a massive crowd of six enthusiastic supporters, plus the guy who […]

Unger Conviction

“Freedom-Loving” Pastor Won’t Let Women Wear Pants

April 30, 2021 Andrew

DOMMHEIT, ON Canada’s most freedom-loving pastor, Apostle Hank, is all about liberty and personal freedoms without any coercion or undue influence from authority figures. “Our freedoms are being eroded daily!” exclaimed Apostle Hank to a […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Family Looking Forward to Delightful Illegal Gathering this Easter

April 1, 2021 Andrew

SCHRATJLIJCH, MB Plans are already in the works for a delightfully illegal Easter this year. The Hiebert family of Schratjlijch, Manitoba, for example, have been dutifully shopping, cooking, and otherwise preparing for their first illegal […]

The Daily Bonnet

Friesens Report the Reimers for Having an Illegal Gathering

March 26, 2021 Andrew

SCHNERVFELD, MB The police were present at the Reimer house to hand out dozens of fines after the Friesens ratted out the Reimers for eating paska without masks and being within six feet of an […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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