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Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Excited that Province has Opened Things Up for ‘El Fresca’ Dining

March 21, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Eleanor Loewen, 71, of North Kildonan is eager to take her 2L bottles of sugar free Fresca to one of those patios on Corydon this weekend, after the province announced she was now […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Still Using the Toilet Paper She Bought Last Year

March 17, 2021 Andrew

MOOSE JAW, SK Rose Bueckert, 43, of Moose Jaw has barely even scratched the surface of all the extra absorbent Cottonelle she panic-bought at the beginning of the pandemic last year. “It’s just like all […]

Unger Suspicion

Passengers Rush to Board ‘Super Safe’ Flight with 99% Survival Rate

December 5, 2020 Andrew

CHICAGO, IL Passengers boarding a flight from Chicago to London today felt “super safe” after the captain announced that the plane had a “99% survival rate.” “Good evening. This is your captain speaking. The skies […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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