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The Daily Bonnet

“Zellers ain’t good enough!” Mennonites Demand Return of SAAN Stores

August 19, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB While there was some level of excitement for the return of Zellers stores, Mennonites across the Prairies are demanding the return of the even cheaper SAAN stores as well. “The only place that […]

The Daily Bonnet

Frugal Alberta Mennonites Vote to Keep Daylight Savings

October 19, 2021 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB There has been considerable discussion over the past few years about the possibility of getting rid of Daily Savings time. While most are in favour of doing away with it, a strong […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Orders Child Size Coke and Stays All Afternoon for Refills

August 6, 2020 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Local man and financial advisor Mr. Kornelsen decided he’d get the biggest bang for his buck if he ordered a kid’s size Coke and down refill after refill all afternoon at his local […]

The Daily Bonnet

Economical Mennonite Woman’s Been Using the Same Mask Since This Whole Thing Started

July 26, 2020 Andrew

ROSENORT, MB Mrs. Thiessen, 73, of Rosenort is renowned throughout the Scratching River Settlement for her tremendous ability to “do more with less.” This includes using the very same cheap disposable face mask her son […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Leaves Generous Tip of Two Gospel Tracts

March 5, 2020 Andrew

KIDRON, OH A waitress at a coffee shop in Kidron was excited by the generous tip left by one of her patrons this morning. After ordering two slices of toast and a glass of orange […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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