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cars

Unger Suspicion

Volkswagen Replaces Key Fob With Giant Red Panic Button

August 18, 2024 Andrew

WOLFSBURG, GERMANY Disappointed that not enough people were accidentally setting off their car alarms, Volkswagen has replaced the entire key fob with one giant red panic button. “Customers were complaining that the placement of the […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Excited to Take Flight in Neighbour’s Flying Car

March 28, 2024 Andrew

ELKHART, IN The whole neighbourhood was abuzz this week as Mr. Funk of Elkhart unveiled his new license plate, which clearly indicated he had converted his sedan into a flying car. Naturally, next door neighbour […]

The Daily Bonnet

How large does your town have to be before you can start flipping off other drivers? A guide for Mennonites

February 27, 2024 Andrew

According to the official rules, Mennonites should not be proud of anything. Secretly, however, Mennonites pride themselves on many things, including being among the worst drivers in the country. This is largely attributed to the […]

Unger Games

F1 Fans Really Excited for New Mennonite Driver Max Fe’schlucken

January 17, 2024 Andrew

FRANCORCHAMPS, BELGIUM Formula 1 fans are really excited to see new young Mennonite driver Max Fe’schlucken, who hopes to be the first F1 driver to win a Grand Prix using only a team of horses. […]

Unger Games

Green Flag Drops for the Russlaender 100

July 15, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB And they’re off! After consuming a hearty breakfast, racers gathered at the starting line this morning just outside the Fort Garry Hotel in Winnipeg. The Russlaender 100 will see the world’s top Mennonite […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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