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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Stunt Driver Performs Ten U-Turns in a Row

October 12, 2019 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB A local man who calls himself “Steinbach’s most badass stunt driver,” performed more than a dozen successful U-turns on Main Street on Tuesday night in his Ford pick-up. “Doing U-turn is how I […]

Unger & Thirst

Children Not So Happy After Dad Drives Off with Happy Meals on the Roof of His Car

April 14, 2019 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Mr. Earl Penner had some explaining to do after he inadvertently drove off with the kid’s Happy Meals on the roof of his car. “I came home and I was, like, ‘Well, we’ve […]

Unger Suspicion

One Million Manitobans Trapped in their Driveways Due to Obstructed Views

March 6, 2019 Andrew

PORTAGE LA PRAIRIE, MB More than a million Manitobans have been trapped at the edge of their driveways this winter unable to see clearly enough beyond the huge mounds of piled up snow. “I’ve been […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Gets Out the Booster Cables After Horse Doesn’t Start

January 31, 2019 Andrew

VITA, MB After a bitter cold night with temperatures well below zero, Mr. Dueck’s entire team of horses just wouldn’t start in the morning. “Usually Martha reminds me to plug them in, but I guess […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Loops Parking Lot for an Hour to Avoid Paying for Parking

January 12, 2019 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Local man Jeremy Goerzen, 39, was picking up his friends at the airport who were visiting from Manitoba. Unfortunately the flight was delayed and so, instead, of paying ten dollars to park, Jeremy […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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