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candice bergen

Unger Conviction

Oba yo, Candice Bergen was right: Why We Know the Young People Really are “Brainwashed”

May 28, 2023 Andrew

BY: ABE FROM VANKLA Oba yo, I don’t normally agree with a woman, but this time I do. Candice Bergen is right! The young people these days. Diewel! I’m just glad someone was finally willing […]

Unger the Influence

MP Candice Bergen Steps Down to Return to Glamorous Life in Hollywood

February 3, 2023 Andrew

MORDEN, MB After fifteen years representing the good folks of Portage Lisgar in the House of Commons, MP Candice Bergen has stepped down to return to the set of hit 1990s sitcom Murphy Brown. “As […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winklerites Furious as Morden Woman Elected Leader

February 3, 2022 Andrew

WINKLER, MB A massive crowd of pickup trucks gathered at the Co-op in Winkler tonight to protest the selection of “a woman from Morden yet” as leader of the Conservatives. “Oba, nay, not Morden once […]

Unger & Thirst

Why Canada is Unlocking Its Vault of Rogers Golden Syrup

December 2, 2021 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Ahh, Rogers Golden Syrup, aka liquid gold. In more ways than you imagined. It’s a little known fact that Canada keeps a reservoir of Rogers underneath the House of Commons. It’s Canada’s Fort […]

The Daily Bonnet

“I Thought it Said ‘Make Altona Great Again'” says MP

January 9, 2021 Andrew

ALTONA, MB After literally minutes of controversy, Portage-Lisgar MP Candice Bergen is finally speaking out about the undated photo of her wearing a camo MAGA hat. “I thought it said ‘Make Altona Great Again,’” Bergen […]

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