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calgary

Unger Games

Calgarians Vote Not to Host Massive $5 Billion Faspa

November 14, 2018 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Calgary has spoken. They do not want to host the 2026 quadrennial winter Faspa. In a plebiscite this week, Calgary voted overwhelmingly in favour of just ordering in Chinese food on that Sunday […]

Unger Suspicion

Self-Loathing Winnipeggers Select ‘Ugh…Winnipeg Sucks’ as New City Slogan

March 2, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Winnipeggers have spoken. By a wide margin, locals voted to replace ‘One Great City’ and ‘The Heart of the Continent’ with ‘Ugh….Winnipeg sucks’ as the new city slogan. “Time and again, what we […]

Unger Conviction

Church Attendance “Way Up” in Calgary as Flames Threaten to Leave Town

January 26, 2018 Andrew

CALGARY, AB As the owners of the beloved Calgary Flames threaten to move the team to Houston or Seattle, tens of thousands of Calgarians have returned to church in order to “get right with the […]

Unger Games

After 20 Years in Calgary, Manitoba Man Still Hasn’t Skied

December 16, 2017 Andrew

CALGARY, AB After moving to Calgary back in 1997, former Manitoba resident Jeremy Berg still has yet to strap on a pair of skies, much to the chagrin of his new Alberta friends. “Frankly, I […]

Unger Games

Calgary Mayor Handily Defeated by Abbotsford Mayor in Crokinole Match

April 5, 2017 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Abbotsford Mayor Henry Braun took on all competitors and came out as the clear victor at the annual Canadian Mayor’s Crokinole Tournament this past weekend. Braun faced Naheed Nenshi in the final match and scored an […]

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