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The Daily Bonnet

Former Resident Longs to Smell Steinbach Feed Mill One More Time

September 26, 2016 Andrew

PHOENIX, AZ Retired school bus driver Vern L. Toews enjoys his new life in sunny Phoenix, Arizona, but says there are a few things about living in Steinbach that he misses. On the top of […]

The Daily Bonnet

Menno Simons Donates ‘Gently Used’ Items to New Steinbach Hardware Store

September 24, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB 16th century Anabaptist leader Menno Simons made an appearance at a new Steinbach hardware store this week to donate some ‘gently used’ items he no longer had use for. Among the items he […]

Unger Suspicion

Oil Company to Reroute Pipeline Through World’s Most Famous Cemeteries

September 7, 2016 Andrew

DALLAS, TX Despite significant opposition to the project, one of the world’s major oil companies has elected to route their new pipeline to make sure it damages as many sacred burial grounds as possible. The pipeline has […]

Unger & Thirst

Pastor Declares Self-Service Corn Stand an ‘Evil Temptress’

August 31, 2016 Andrew

PEMBINA VALLEY, MB Every year in August the honesty and integrity of Mennonites throughout the Pembina Valley is put to the test as local farmers set up self-service corn stands at the end of their […]

The Daily Bonnet

Matt Falk’s ‘That Mennonite Joke’ Rakes in Three Billion Dollars at the Box Office

May 19, 2016 Andrew

NIVERVILLE, MB Comedian Matt Falk’s new film That Mennonite Joke has just surpassed James Cameron’s Avatar to become the highest grossing film of all time at the global box office. After a triumphant star-studded premiere at Steinbach’s […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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