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The Daily Bonnet

Oma Gets ‘Vaxxed’ Just in Time for Summer

June 24, 2021 Andrew

REINLAND, MB Oma Kornelsen was a little reluctant to “get vaxxed yet” but was convinced after she saw the wonderful “Brazilian vax” that her daughter Linda got. “I normally don’t get vaxxed,” said Mrs. Kornelsen, […]

The Daily Bonnet

‘Sexy Mennonite’ Costume Flying Off the Shelves this Halloween

October 28, 2019 Andrew

NEWTON, KS Costumes stores across the country have been running out of stock of this year’s hottest Halloween trend, the Sexy Mennonite. “Last year it was the Sexy Nurse and the Sexy Superhero, but this […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Judges to Score Miss America Swimsuit Competition

September 1, 2018 Andrew

LAS VEGAS, NV For the first time since the pagent began almost 100 years ago, Miss America’s swimsuit competition will be judged exclusively by a panel of Mennonite church deacons. “Our criteria may be a little […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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