The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

beard

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Shaves Beard into Goatee to Become Youth Pastor

April 24, 2017 Andrew

MORDEN, MB Local man Peter Berg of Morden has recently shaved his full manly beard into a goatee in preparation for his new job as youth pastor of the South Morden Brethren Church. “You can’t […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Man Insists His Beard is Not a Tribute to Fidel Castro

November 26, 2016 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK A Mennonite man is facing considerable scrutiny today for sporting a beard that looks eerily similar to that of recently departed Cuban dictator Fidel Castro. “It’s just a beard,” said Ben F. Toews […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Has ‘Unfair Head Start’ on Movember Beard

November 2, 2016 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB A local Mennonite man has taken advantage of his ample facial hair to “totally kick butt” in a local Movembeard contest. “Like Samson of old, I have not, cannot, and will not shave,” said […]

Posts pagination

« 1 2 3
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Frugal Alberta Mennonites Vote to Keep Daylight Savings
    October 19, 2021
  • Winkler Grocery Store to Retain Mask Rule Just So Locals Have Something to Rebel Against
    August 18, 2021
  • White House Warns Against Knackzoat During Pregnancy
    September 25, 2025
  • Fancy City Mennonites Excited for their Giant Paper Bags Filled with Edamame
    December 25, 2025
  • Mennonite Woman Buys Back Her Own Clothes at the MCC Store
    March 1, 2018

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved