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Unger Suspicion

B.C. Premier Shuts Down Progress on Kinder Surprise Pipeline

April 11, 2018 Andrew

VICTORIA, BC Concerned that increased access to thin chocolate eggs and cheap plastic toys may adversely affect the health and welfare of British Columbians, Premier John Horgan announced Tuesday that he would do everything in […]

Unger Suspicion

Single Snowflake Causes Vancouver Schools to Shut Down for ‘Snow Day’

March 5, 2018 Andrew

VANCOUVER, BC The discovery of a single solitary snowflake in the Vancouver suburb of Burnaby this Monday, forced schools across the region to shut down. The sighting was reported early Monday morning and immediately caused […]

Unger Suspicion

British Columbian Freezes to Death Within Minutes of Arriving in Winnipeg

January 11, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Mr. Mark Thiessen of Chilliwack froze to death after walking a hundred metres from the airport terminal to his rental car this weekend. Police found his frozen corpse, with his debit card in […]

The Daily Bonnet

B.C. Relatives are Really Proud of Their Inability to Survive Harsh Manitoba Winters

December 6, 2016 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Mennonites across the Fraser Valley, many of whom once lived on the frozen prairie tundra, have gone soft in recent years and can no longer survive more than a few minutes outside their […]

The Daily Bonnet

Manitoba Couple Visits Abbotsford Relatives Never to Return

July 24, 2016 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC A newly married couple from Morden, Ben and Emma Doerksen, recently visited frintschoft in British Colombia on their honeymoon this July, and have decided to stay on the west coast permanently. “We just knew […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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