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Search Results for crokinole

Unger the Influence

G7 Summit to Feature Crokinole Tournament

June 14, 2025 Andrew

KANANASKIS, AB After months of hostility and chaos across the globe, G7 leaders have decided to cool things down a little in Kananaskis with a nice friendly crokinole tournament. “And the winner gets Greenland,” said […]

Unger the Influence

Crokinole Board Hauled Out to Quiet Divisive Political Discussions

December 29, 2024 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC The political discussions got so heated at the Loewen gathering this past week, that Mrs. Annie Loewen decided “enough was enough,” and decided to haul out the kjnipsbrat, which studies have shown is […]

Unger Games

LeBron James Quits Basketball to Take on New Challenge: Crokinole

February 8, 2023 Andrew

LOS ANGELES, CA Moments after setting the NBA All-Time scoring record and solidifying his place as the GOAT of basketball, LeBron James decided to retire from the sport to take on the greatest challenge of […]

The Daily Bonnet

Vote Now! Dutch Blitz vs. Crokinole!

December 24, 2022 Andrew

What will you be playing this Christmas? We’ve settled many Mennonite controversies around here. Jantsied vs. Ditsied, hymns vs. off-the-wall singing. Heck, we’ve even definitely solved the whole dunker vs. pourer controversy. But there is […]

The Daily Bonnet

Wooden Crokinole Pieces Now Trading at $69.99 Per Knipser

June 19, 2021 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK With the skyrocketing lumber prices, wooden knipsers are now trading at upwards of $70 a piece. “Well, Helen, would you look at that!” said Henry Warkentin, 64, of Swift Current. “We’ve got […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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