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Unger & Thirst

Climate Scientists Predict Global Shortage of Schmaunt Fat

May 16, 2016 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON Climate scientists in southern Ontario predict that, due to increasing temperatures, by the year 2030, there will be a global shortage of schmaunt fat. The white cream gravy has been a staple of […]

Unger Suspicion

Bernie Sanders’s Mittens Sworn in as President of the United States

May 2, 2016 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC A pair of delightful mittens worn by Bernie Sanders were sworn in as President of the United States earlier today. “I’m going to be a President for all Americans, not just those with […]

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