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Unger Suspicion

Long-Suffering Vegas Knights Fan Finally Sees His Team Win the Cup

April 10, 2018 Andrew

LAS VEGAS, NV Long time Vegas Golden Knights fan Peter Sawatzky, 43, has suffered through many seasons without a Cup. Sawatzky, originally from Kleefeld, Manitoba, lives in Sin City during the winter and has had […]

The Daily Bonnet

Fight the Seven Signs of Mennonite Aging

April 9, 2018 Andrew

We all change as we get older, but that doesn’t mean you have to become your parents. Here are the Daily Bonnet, we’re committed to helping you identify and fight the seven signs of aging…for […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Saves Thousands By Separating the Two-Ply

April 8, 2018 Andrew

TABER, AB Local woman Maria Dueck, 43, estimates she’s saved her family more than five thousand dollars this year by turning her two-ply toilet paper into one. As a mother of twelve growing children and […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Has Quick Nooner

April 7, 2018 Andrew

KIDRON, OH Mrs. Anne Miller of Kidron rushed home on her lunch break this past Friday to meet her husband Peter and have a quick noon-hour Bible reading. “We really didn’t have much time, but […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Charged with Distracted Driving for Knacking Zoat Behind the Wheel

April 6, 2018 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Local man Colin Peters, 41, is facing distracted driving charges after being spotted by Altona police with a bag of Ronnie’s Original Jumbo Sunflower Seeds in one hand and the steering wheel in […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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