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Unger Suspicion

Carrie Underwood Spotted Busking for Spare Change Outside Winnipeg Jets Arena

May 14, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Barefoot Nashville Predators  Vegas Knights fan Carrie Underwood was spotted busking for spare change outside the Winnipeg Jets street party on Saturday. After a devastating loss by her husband’s team, the grumpy country […]

The Daily Bonnet

‘State of Emergency’ Declared at Steinbach Garage Sale Riot

May 13, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Prime Minister Trudeau has followed in his father’s footsteps and invoked the War Measures Act to deal with the increasing hostility during garage sales in the small Mennonite town of Steinbach, Manitoba. In […]

Unger & Thirst

Whose Mennonite Mom Makes the Best Perogies?

May 13, 2018 Andrew

For centuries Mennonites have ferociously defended their own mother’s cooking, claiming her vereniki were soft, more delicate, more flavourful, or held together better than all the other Mennonite moms out there. Well, today, we’re going […]

The Daily Bonnet

Ten Thousand Villages Celebrates Ten Thousand Years of Service

May 12, 2018 Andrew

AKRON, PA Founded by the Mennonite Central Committee in approximately 8,000 BC, this year Ten Thousand Villages stores are celebrating 10,000 years of selling fair trade products. “I’m not sure, but I’m pretty sure we’re […]

Unger Suspicion

Entire Province of Manitoba Calls in Sick This Morning

May 11, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After the Winnipeg Jets advanced to the Conference finals for the first time in history, not a single person in the entire province of Manitoba showed up to work this morning. “There seems […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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