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The Daily Bonnet

Six Hospitalized After Jesus Takes the Wheel

August 30, 2018 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN Four Yoders and two Millers were rushed to the hospital in Goshen this week after Mr. Yoder decided to relinquish his driving duties and let Jesus take over. “I was heading down the […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Uses Potato Sack Race to Determine New Pastor

August 29, 2018 Andrew

LINDEN, AB Deviating from the common practice of determining all leadership positions by the drawing of straws, the folks at West Linden Mennonite have decided to pick a new head honcho using a potato sack […]

The Daily Bonnet

Anabaptist Heroes to be Added to Mount Rushmore

August 27, 2018 Andrew

BLACK HILLS, SD Four new faces are set to be blasted into the rock at Mount Rushmore this fall. After a long consultation process, a committee has selected the names of Menno Simons, Conrad Grebel, Jakob […]

The Daily Bonnet

Residents Required to Display ‘Steinbach Driver’ Sign in Back Windshield

August 26, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Under a new local graduated licensing program, Steinbach drivers will now be required to display a sign in the back windshield of their vehicles as a warning to other drivers. Local officials say […]

Unger Suspicion

Morden Honours Local Star Loreena McKennitt with Totally Epic Corn Maze

August 25, 2018 Andrew

MORDEN, MB The city of Morden, Manitoba will be honouring its most famous export, celtic music sensation Loreena McKennitt, in the best way they know how, by building a corn maze in her honour. “Basically […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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