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The Daily Bonnet

Cousin Aggie Caught Flipping Two Cards at a Time Instead of Three

January 6, 2019 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA Cousin Aganetha has been barred from ever attending another Sunday afternoon Dutch Blitz match after it was discovered she had been flipping over just two cards at a time from the “Wood Pile” […]

The Daily Bonnet

Completely Predictable Mennonite Couple Places Garbage Can Under the Sink

January 5, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB The first thing that newlyweds Andrew and Katie Unrau did when they moved into their new home in Winkler was put the garbage can under the sink “like it should be.” “There was […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Women Star in Hit New Series ‘The Real Housewives of Holmes County’

January 4, 2019 Andrew

HOLMES COUNTY, OH A hit new reality show has been streaming on television sets across the country this week. The show called ‘Real Housewives of Holmes County’ explores the outrageous wild lifestyles of Mrs. Weaver, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Buried Under Huge Pile of Coats on Master Bed

January 3, 2019 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB Mr. Klassen had plopped himself down for a nice meddachschlop this Sunday afternoon, when a steady stream of unexpected guests piled into the Klassen residence. While Mrs. Klassen politely invited the Fehrs, Wiebes, […]

Unger Conviction

New Pill Cures Hymnal Dysfunction

January 2, 2019 Andrew

MOUNTAIN LAKE, MN As Mennonite men age, many of them experience a decreased ability to hold a hymnal upright during the service. Doctors in Mountain Lake say Hymnal Dysfunction affects one in three men over […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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