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Unger Conviction

Introducing the All New Mennonite Enneagram!

April 9, 2019 Andrew

According to the ancient and mystical Mennonite Enneagram, written by Richard Reimer and Andreas Hiebert, there are nine distinct Mennonite personality types. Which one are you? TYPE ONE: The Need to Make the Perfect Quilt – […]

Unger Suspicion

Water Softener Salt Sits at Door for Months

April 8, 2019 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB Three bags of water softening salt have been sitting at the front door of the Unrau residence in Mitchell for the past three months. The bags were supposed to have been brought downstairs […]

Unger Games

Angry Mennonite Hockey Fan Can’t Figure Out “Waut de schissjat is wrong with those Jats yet!”

April 7, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Local hockey fan Mr. Kehler, who owns three acres just off Henderson Highway in Vanapag, is sea upset about the Jats performance as of late and expressed his rage in a recent Facebook […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Patiently Waits Six Months for Wife Outside Changing Room

April 6, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB For the past six months, Mr. Klassen has been sitting patiently on a chair outside the changing room at the Bay downtown waiting for his wife Edna to finish trying on a few […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mrs. Reimer Still Refers to Mrs. Ens as a “Russlander”

April 5, 2019 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Even though their families came from the exact same colonies in Russia, for some reason the Mennonites who arrived in Canada a few decades earlier referred to the newcomers in the 1920s as […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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