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The Daily Bonnet

Masks Needed to Protect Residents During the Axe Body Spray Outbreak of 2020

July 25, 2020 Andrew

TABER, AB After an outbreak of Axe body spray in shopping malls, schools, and church lobbies over the last few months, residents of Taber, Alberta have been asked to wear protective masks to shield themselves […]

Unger Conviction

MKs Totally Destroy PKs in First Annual Church Kid Olympics

July 24, 2020 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB MKs from across the world flew into Winnipeg this month, and after quarantining for two weeks, were ready to “absolutely destroy” the team of PKs who had been assembled for the first annual […]

Unger & Thirst

Introducing the Seattle Knackin’

July 23, 2020 Andrew

SEATTLE, WA Eager to win over some hockey fans in the Fraser Valley from the Vancouver Canucks, the owners of the NHL’s latest misguided attempt at making hockey work in a non-hockey market have decided […]

Unger Conviction

Local Bible School Offers Degree in Inspirational Meme Creation

July 22, 2020 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Pembina Valley Bible School has just introduced a new three-year certificate in ‘Inspirational Meme Creation’. PVBS students will be taught how to select a sunset and where to place the Joel Osteen quote. […]

Unger Suspicion

Edmonton Man Really Upset His Favourite Team Would Change their Name … or Logo, Colours, Jersey, Mascot, Location, Stadium, Turf, Ownership, Ticket Prices, Players, Coaching Staff, Management, Special Teams Strategy …

July 21, 2020 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB In what one Edmonton man describes as a “completely unprecedented move for a professional sports team”, the Edmonton football club has decided to change its nickname. “In all my years I’ve never seen […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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