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Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Blows Entire Co-op Dividend Cheque on Chicken Chef Feast

June 4, 2020 Andrew

MORDEN, MB It seems that his Co-op dividend cheque was burning a whole in his pocket, because just as soon as he could, local man Mr. Thiessen had blown the whole thing on the biggest […]

Unger Conviction

Pourer Gets Dunked Just to Make Sure

June 1, 2020 Andrew

HILLSBORO, KS Local man Mr. Klassen has lived his whole life with deep-seated fears that his pouring baptism at the age of 19 just wasn’t good enough. “So, I’ve finally decided to get dunked,” said […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Brings Inferior Zoat to Bonfire

May 31, 2020 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Local man Richard Dyck, 57, is facing a slew of criticism this week after bringing something other than Ronnie’s knackzoat to a local bonfire. “I don’t know what came over that man. If […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Pastors Release New ‘Tracing App’ that Tracks How Much Time You’ve Spent Reading the Bible

May 30, 2020 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC Concerned pastors in the Abbotsford area have hired a local tech firm to create an app that traces how much contact each member of their congregation has had with the Word of God. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Town Holds Massive Parade to Honour Local Man Who Did the Dishes

May 29, 2020 Andrew

REINLAND, MB Local man Timothy Toews, 36, decided he’d try to earn himself a few minutes of meddachschlop this week and hand-wash a beer glass he’d used earlier in the afternoon. When his wife Amanda got home, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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