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The Daily Bonnet

Supersite Workers Promise Not to Comment on Your Farmer’s Tan

June 26, 2021 Andrew

MORDEN, MB Workers at southern Manitoba vaccine supersites have been offered three weeks in “sensitivity training” including a full week program on resisting the urge to comment on Mr. Penner’s farmer’s tan. “We know that […]

The Daily Bonnet

Oma Gets ‘Vaxxed’ Just in Time for Summer

June 24, 2021 Andrew

REINLAND, MB Oma Kornelsen was a little reluctant to “get vaxxed yet” but was convinced after she saw the wonderful “Brazilian vax” that her daughter Linda got. “I normally don’t get vaxxed,” said Mrs. Kornelsen, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Excited for New Plautdietsch Stickers Rather than the ‘Weltlijch’ English Ones

June 24, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB The one thing that was holding Mr. Hoeppner back from getting his Covid-19 vaccine was the fact he had to wear one of those weltlijch English stickers afterwards. “Then I saw the Plautdietsch […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Gets His Kicks on Route 606

June 23, 2021 Andrew

OKLAHOMA CITY, OK Mr. Bender has strayed a long way from home this summer and embarked on totally epic trip down the world famous Route 606. “I got my horses running, I head out on […]

The Daily Bonnet

Province Issues Warning About New ‘Harry Enns of Concern’

June 22, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB More than a year and a half into the pandemic, there’s a new Harry Enns every few weeks it seems. In Winkler this week, once such Harry Enns just moved into town, which […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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