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Unger & Thirst

Hungover Mennonite Woman Insists “It’s Only Covid”

June 22, 2022 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Eleanor Driedger, 61, of Saskatoon had a little too much to drink at the lady’s Bible study and wine event last night, but refused to admit she’d come down with a hangover this […]

Unger Suspicion

Canada and Denmark Reach Settlement Over Disputed Nikolaj Ehlers

June 21, 2022 Andrew

COPENHAGEN, DENMARK Years of feuding appears to be over after the governments of Canada and Denmark have agreed to stop putting flags on Winnipeg Jets superstar Nikolaj Ehlers and instead draw a line down the […]

Unger Suspicion

Biblical Fiery Furnace Located in Southern Manitoba

June 20, 2022 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB After years of searching, local archeologists have discovered the fiery furnace mentioned in the Book of Daniel. It turns out if was just outside Kleefeld, Manitoba this whole time. “We’ve searched all over […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Family’s Been Eating Nothing but Mini Donuts for the Past Week

June 19, 2022 Andrew

NIVERVILLE, MB The Wiebes of Niverville have been subsisting on nothing but mini donuts breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the past week. “It all started at the Niverville Fair last weekend. I think we ate […]

Unger & Thirst

Fake Russian McDonalds Offers Limp Flavourless Fries Called ‘Putin’

June 18, 2022 Andrew

MOSCOW, RUSSIA After all the real McDonalds stores shut down this week, a new FakeDonalds is setting up shop in Russia and promises to offer a number of new menu items, including a variation on […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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