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Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Slops $1000 Worth of Caesar Salad on His Plate

November 27, 2022 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Abe Toews of Winkler was at the extended Toews gathering this weekend when he got to the end of the potluck line and decided he had just enough room on his plate for […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Potato Farmer Proclaims Himself “Dyck Tater for Life”

November 26, 2022 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK Rudy Dyck from just outside of Swift Current has taken control of a large potato farm this week and refuses to share power with anyone else. “This is not one of them […]

Unger Suspicion

Two Canadians Bump Into Each Other, Both Say “I’m Sorry”

November 25, 2022 Andrew

HAMILTON, ON On a busy Hamilton street this afternoon, two Canadian were texting as they walked and slammed right into one another, both loudly proclaiming that they were “sorry, buddy.” “This is impossible. It had […]

Unger Suspicion

Canadian Woman’s Passport Expires Before It Even Arrives

November 24, 2022 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON Area woman Mavis Eby, 61, just received her passport in the mail this morning only to find that it was already expired. “You know, this is really frustrating,” said Eby. “I thought when […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Desperate to Find Some Relation to Davy Klaassen

November 23, 2022 Andrew

LOMA PLATA, PARAGUAY Moments after Dutch midfielder Davy Klaasen scored his first World Cup goal, millions of Mennonites scoured their family history books to see if maybe, just maybe, they were somehow related. “Oba, well, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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