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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Under the Impression that Opening a Few Windows Will Cool Things Down in Here

June 23, 2022 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Despite soaring temperatures, Mrs. Kroeker of Winkler is under the impression that opening a few windows should do the trick. “Air conditioning? Waut de hunt!” exclaimed Mrs. Kroeker. “In my day we didn’t […]

Unger & Thirst

Hungover Mennonite Woman Insists “It’s Only Covid”

June 22, 2022 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Eleanor Driedger, 61, of Saskatoon had a little too much to drink at the lady’s Bible study and wine event last night, but refused to admit she’d come down with a hangover this […]

Unger Suspicion

Canada and Denmark Reach Settlement Over Disputed Nikolaj Ehlers

June 21, 2022 Andrew

COPENHAGEN, DENMARK Years of feuding appears to be over after the governments of Canada and Denmark have agreed to stop putting flags on Winnipeg Jets superstar Nikolaj Ehlers and instead draw a line down the […]

Unger Suspicion

Biblical Fiery Furnace Located in Southern Manitoba

June 20, 2022 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB After years of searching, local archeologists have discovered the fiery furnace mentioned in the Book of Daniel. It turns out if was just outside Kleefeld, Manitoba this whole time. “We’ve searched all over […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Family’s Been Eating Nothing but Mini Donuts for the Past Week

June 19, 2022 Andrew

NIVERVILLE, MB The Wiebes of Niverville have been subsisting on nothing but mini donuts breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the past week. “It all started at the Niverville Fair last weekend. I think we ate […]

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