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Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Pastor Barely Outlasts UK Prime Minister Liz Truss

October 22, 2022 Andrew

LONDON, UK The United Kingdom has adopted the tried and true “Mennonite leadership model” of tossing out a leader after just a few weeks in charge. “We’ve been looking at systems across the globe and […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winnipeg Man Buys Fancy New Car to Drive on World’s Shittiest Roads

October 21, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Area man Dave Peters parlayed 40-years of chicken catching money into a sweet new sports car this week, but quickly realized there wasn’t a single decent road in the entire city he could […]

Unger & Thirst

Protestors Toss Borscht at Van Gogh Painting

October 20, 2022 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Protesting the high cost of sunflower seeds, angry Mennonites hurled margarine containers of warmed-up cabbage borscht at the giant Van Gogh painting in Altona, Manitoba this morning. “Well, they attempted to, anyway,” said […]

Unger Suspicion

Danielle Smith Flees to La Crete, Alberta

October 19, 2022 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB After making a series of ridiculous comments in just her first few days in office, new Alberta Premier Danielle Smith has decided to flee to the most remote location she can think […]

The Daily Bonnet

Steinbach Transit Purchases New Fleet of Honda Civics

October 18, 2022 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Area seniors are really excited that the City of Steinbach has finally approved the long-awaited public transit system. “We’ve contracted 20-year-olds in Honda Civics to pick up any grandmas they see and drive […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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