STEINBACH, MB
Area man Matthew Klippenstein, 37, has just posted an ad in the local paper looking for a sturdy young woman who hasn’t dyed her hair, pierced her ears, or grown unaccustomed to a bit of yard work.
“I’m looking for someone between the ages of 22 and 47 who can still bend at the waist and do some weeding every now and then, while I sit on a lawnchair in the driveway and knack zoat,” said Klippenstein. “Ability to climb a ladder and reach the gutters is also a plus.”
Klippenstein says there’s nothing he likes more than coming home from long a hard day of work pumping gas at the local Co-op and just sitting back and watching his wife do the yard work.
“I don’t mind ordering pizza if she gets the garden hoed by supper time,” said Klippenstein. “Of course, she’ll have to take the F-150 and go pick it up herself. I’m not paying to delivery.”
So far, no one has responded to Klippenstein’s ad and friends are suggesting he’d be better off running an ad in the church bullentin.
“Or just resign yourself to getting one of those AI girlfriends,” said friend and fellow Co-op employee Darren. “I hear they’ll let you watch them hoe all evening without tiring.”
Klippenstein has already created an AI girlfriend named Megan who he’s programmed to wear a modest duak and take out the trash on command.
