OTTAWA, ON
Although it’s controversial in some circles, it’s been part of the Anabaptist system, and the Protestant system more generally, for centuries – crossing the floor. Whenever a church member feels slighted, offended, or that their current church just doesn’t fit their values anymore, they “cross the floor” to another church.
“Or worse yet, form their own church,” said pundit David Epp. “It’s up to each church to really deter this kind of behaviour. You know, feed them roll kuchen or something. Gotta keep our good Mennonites from going over to the Lutherans.”
This discussion comes as a Mennonite man Pete Hildebrandt crossed the street this past Sunday morning to join the Lutherans.
“It was a bit unnerving. There’s a lot about the Lutherans I don’t understand – their liturgy, their theology, their baked goods at the after-church luncheon,” said Hildebrandt. “But after several decades of bickering and infighting–not to mention the overbearing leadership–I just couldn’t stomach it with the Mennonites anymore.”
In the past 500 years, more than 3 million Mennonites have left to join other churches, while an equal number of others have crossed the floor from other churches to join them.
“It’s like a game of musical chairs,” said Epp. “We’ll see how long old Pete Hildebrandt lasts with the Lutherans. Good luck out there, I say.”
Epp feels there should be laws against this kind of thing.
“If you’re baptised into one church that’s your church for life,” he said. “The good people of First West Mennonite voted on accepting you into membership, so you shouldn’t just turn around and join the Lutherans or what have you. It’s just not right.”
It’s unclear whether Hildebrandt will have to be rebaptized to join the Lutherans, or whether he’ll just be forced to learn High German and banned from speaking Plautidetssch in the church lobby.