Top Ten Ways We Know that the Daily Bonnet is in on the Conspiracy

Whether it’s flat-earthers, anti-vaxxers, chemtrailers, birthers or Area 51ers, the Daily Bonnet tends to schputt conspiracy theories. Well, we all know the reason for this, don’t we! The Daily Bonnet is IN ON IT! What is the “it” the Daily Bonnet is in on? Well, everything! I wouldn’t be surprised if the whole thing was just a front of the Illuminati. The Plautdietsch Illuminati. That’s right! How do we know this? Well, let me tell you!

  1. The Daily Bonnet is allowed on social media! That means they’re part of the vast network of mainstream media owned by Big Brother. In this case that big brother is Kjnels Unger of Steinreich.
  2. DB? You know who also has the initials DB? Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Deutsche Bank, David Bowie. Coincidence? I think not. You put the pieces together!
  3. You know what else is Db? D flat! In other words Flat Dietsch. Flat German. Plautdietsch. Low German. Whatever you want to call it. It’s all adding up now, isn’t it!
  4. D=4 A=1 I=9 L=12 Y=25, B=2 O=15 N=14 N=14 E=5 T=20. That totals=121. You know what else totals 121? DON TRUMP. Do the math!
  5. The Daily Bonnet started in May 2016. You know what also happened in May 2016? Ted Cruz dropped out the Presidential race and world famous gorilla and viral Internet sensation Harambe died. What does it mean? I have no idea. I just looked up what stuff happened in May 2016.
  6. The bonnet in the logo looks just like a tin foil hat. It’s subliminal messaging, a warning about mind control. A duak is well-known to stop electromagnetic fields.
  7. The Daily Bonnet and Superman have never been seen in the same room together. The Daily Bonnet has also not been seen in the same room as Henry Kissinger and Tony Danza. And lately, the Daily Bonnet isn’t even seen in the same room as his own Oma. See, I told you there was something to this!
  8. The Daily Bonnet is clearly biased against whatever particular political position I happen to hold. How do I know this? Confirmation bias and cherry-picking, what else!
  9. They deny being in on it.
  10. They wrote this article didn’t they?

(photo credit: Jack Lawrence/CC)

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