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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Family Adopts ‘Baby Yoder’

January 17, 2020 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN The Yoders of Goshen, Indiana are pleased to announce the arrival of their brand new bundle of joy, a short green wide-eared Jedi that they’re simply calling ‘Baby’. “We’re very excited to have […]

Unger Suspicion

Harry and Meghan to Winter in Regina

January 10, 2020 Andrew

REGINA, SK Harry and Meghan have decided to take a step back from royal duties and live a normal life on the Canadian Prairies. “We plan to winter in Regina,” said Harry. “We wanted to […]

Unger Suspicion

Ricky Gervais Roasts “Mennonite Elites” at Annual Sunday School Attendance Awards

January 8, 2020 Andrew

HOLMES COUNTY, OH The cream of the crop of the Mennonite world gathered at the Holmes County Motel 6 this week to celebrate the annual Sunday School Attendance Awards. The evening is normally a celebration […]

Unger Games

Patriots Release Tom Brady to Pursue CFL Opportunities

January 7, 2020 Andrew

BOSTON, MA After proving himself for close to twenty years on the smaller American field, it looks like former Patriots quarterback Tom Brady will finally be getting his shot at the CFL. “We’ve had scouts […]

Unger Suspicion

Americans Feel So Much Safer After Assassination of Some Guy They Never Heard of Before

January 4, 2020 Andrew

SEMINOLE, TX Mr. Dueck of Seminole is breathing a sigh of relief this morning after it was revealed that some guy he’d never heard of before was now dead. “Finally I can sleep at night!” […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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