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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Generous Jeff Bezos Donates Two Thimbles and a Couple Spools of Thread to Mennonite Quilt Charity

January 19, 2020 Andrew

SEATTLE, WA Already hailed as the “world’s most generous billionaire” after donating the equivalent to what he earns in five minutes to help with Australian wildfires, Amazon founder Jeff Bezos has now donated two thimbles […]

Unger Suspicion

Trudeau Grows Authentic Menno Beard

January 18, 2020 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB At meetings in Winnipeg this week, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau revealed his amazing new Menno beard. “I can’t figure it out. When we last saw him, it was barely stubble, and now he’s […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Family Adopts ‘Baby Yoder’

January 17, 2020 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN The Yoders of Goshen, Indiana are pleased to announce the arrival of their brand new bundle of joy, a short green wide-eared Jedi that they’re simply calling ‘Baby’. “We’re very excited to have […]

Unger Suspicion

Harry and Meghan to Winter in Regina

January 10, 2020 Andrew

REGINA, SK Harry and Meghan have decided to take a step back from royal duties and live a normal life on the Canadian Prairies. “We plan to winter in Regina,” said Harry. “We wanted to […]

Unger Suspicion

Ricky Gervais Roasts “Mennonite Elites” at Annual Sunday School Attendance Awards

January 8, 2020 Andrew

HOLMES COUNTY, OH The cream of the crop of the Mennonite world gathered at the Holmes County Motel 6 this week to celebrate the annual Sunday School Attendance Awards. The evening is normally a celebration […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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