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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Federal Government Borrows $400 Billion from Industrious Mennonite Farmer

April 25, 2021 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON The Canadian government just announced a record-setting deficit of nearly 400 billion dollars for the year 2020, which has people wondering just where they’re going to come up with the money. The answer, […]

Unger Suspicion

Vaccinated 40-Year-Old Suddenly Has Kick-Ass Cell Phone Coverage

April 21, 2021 Andrew

VITA, MB When local farmer Dale Krause signed up to get vaccinated this week, he had no idea of all the added benefits the shot would bring. “Suddenly I’m getting a full four bars even […]

Unger Suspicion

Tragedy Befalls Mennonite Man After Not Liking and Sharing Anti-Trudeau Meme

April 20, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB After an unbroken streak of fifty-three days of inane manipulative meme-sharing, Mr. Hiebert neglected to like and share a political meme that he agreed with and was met with a fate worse than […]

Unger Suspicion

Canadian Olympic Team to Wear Dirty Mennonite Overalls and Shit Kickers

April 16, 2021 Andrew

TOKYO, JAPAN The brand new outfit for the 2021 Canadian Olympic Team has been revealed: a pair of dirty Mennonite overalls and shit kicker boots. “We wanted the team to stand-out from the crowd, so […]

Unger Suspicion

Edmonton Area Pastor Sworn in as New Alberta Health Minister

April 13, 2021 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB Alberta’s most popular and respected minister of religion has been given a new title: Minister of Health. “It was only natural that we appoint this recently jailed man as Minister of Health,” said […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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