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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Meet Lisa, the One Person in All of Manitoba Who Doesn’t Have Covid Right Now

April 30, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Lisa, a third-year Mennonite Studies student from Winnipeg has recently been discovered as the only person in the entire province who doesn’t have Covid right now. “My cousin Sam has it, all of […]

Unger Suspicion

Manitoba Builds New Confederation Bridge to Compete with the One in PEI

April 26, 2022 Andrew

LORETTE, MB The province of Manitoba has recently declared a gravel service road next to the Trans Canada Highway near Lotette as “Confederation Bridge West” after recent rain storms. “This gravel road surrounded by water […]

Unger Suspicion

Tucker Carlson to Mennonite Men: “Make Sure to Smoke Your Sausage”

April 23, 2022 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY Fox News pundit Tucker Carlson is urging low-testosterone Mennonite men to “stick your sausage in a smoker pronto.” “This is no laughing matter,” said Carlson, who claims 1 in 3 men now […]

Unger Suspicion

Elon Musk Offers Free Cybertruck to Any Left-wingers Willing to Stay on Twitter

April 18, 2022 Andrew

SAN FRANCISCO, CA Left-of-centre Twitter users have threatened to leave the platform en masse if the Elon Musk takeover goes through. In an effort to placate the angry crowd, Musk has offered users a free […]

Unger Suspicion

Liberals and NDP Merge to form “Giant Scary Socialist Robot from Outer Space”

April 6, 2022 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON The Canadian government has undergone a transformation this week and is now under the control of a huge ugly socialist robot from outer space. “OMG! Look, it’s Socialist Prime!” tweeted concerned citizen Mr. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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