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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Nostradamus Eerily Predicts the End of Twitter

November 15, 2022 Andrew

SAN FRANCISCO, CA For centuries French astrologer Nostradamus has been duping the gullible and/or intoxicated into believing his 16th centuries delusional ramblings had some predictive power. Well, it seems even the fall of Twitter has […]

Unger Suspicion

Riders Fan Spends All Afternoon Watching PVRed Games From 10 Years Ago

November 13, 2022 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Just because the Riders missed the playoffs this year doesn’t mean households throughout the province won’t be tuned into the big game this afternoon. The Wiebes of Saskatoon, for example, will be firing […]

Unger Suspicion

“No, thanks!” Don Plett Rejects Ryan Reynolds’ Offer to Purchase Ottawa Senators

November 9, 2022 Andrew

LANDMARK, MB Rumours have swirled for weeks that Hollywood actor Ryan Reynolds is attempting to buy up all the Ottawa senators, but at least one member of the upper house objects to the plan. “I’m […]

Unger Conviction

Elon Musk Buys Mennonite Church, Appoints Himself Pastor

November 2, 2022 Andrew

FRESNO, CA Elon Musk is on a buying spree it seems, as reports out of Fresno, California this week indicate the billionaire has recently purchased the local MB church, fired all the staff, and appointed […]

Unger Suspicion

Rembrandt Painting Has Been Hanging Upside Down for 400 Years

October 30, 2022 Andrew

BERLIN, GERMANY The Gemäldegalerie in Berlin has recently discovered that the famous Rembrandt painting of a Mennonite pastor and his wife has been hanging upside down for the past four centuries. “I’m not sure how this […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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