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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

New Edition of ‘Martyrs Mirror’ to Feature Duck Dynasty Cast Members

June 30, 2016 Andrew

LAMPETER SQUARE, PA Highly revered as a sacred document of Anabaptist martyrdom throughout history, the 17th century book ‘Martyrs Mirror’ is to be updated to include modern martyrdoms like the time the guy from Duck […]

Unger Games

Hospital Entrance to be Converted into Skate Park

June 29, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB As part of a long-term plan to make Steinbach more skateboard-friendly, the local hospital ramp is currently undergoing construction to be converted into a massive skate park. “Increased hospital access for skateboarders is […]

Unger Games

Televangelist Predicts the Winnipeg Blue Bombers to Win the 2016 Grey Cup

June 24, 2016 Andrew

ROLLAND HILLS, MI Crackpot television prophet Dr. Jack von Empel has recently predicted that the lowly Winnipeg Blue Bombers, who play their home opener today, will win the Grey Cup in 2016. “I really like what […]

Unger Suspicion

Hardworking Family of Russian Mennonites Offers to Replace UK in the European Union

June 23, 2016 Andrew

LONDON, UK Today is a historic day as British voters will decide whether or not the United Kingdom will remain part of the European Union. Polls suggest the vote will be tight and, in the […]

Unger Games

NHL Announces Expansion to Tiny Mennonite Village

June 22, 2016 Andrew

NEUBERGTHAL, MB Commissioner Gary Bettman was in southern Manitoba on Wednesday to announce the expansion of the NHL to Las Vegas, Nevada and also to the tiny Mennonite village of Neubergthal, just south of Altona. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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