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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

“Not Only Does the New iPhone Suck, But It’s Also a Sin”

September 13, 2016 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB While millions of people around the world clamour to get their hands on the latest Apple product, Mennonite leaders are working together with Samsung and others to convince congregants that the new […]

Unger Suspicion

Fox News Sold to Group of Mennonite Investors; New Channel to Promote ‘Peace, Love, and Understanding’

September 13, 2016 Andrew

NEW YORK, NY Following a $12 billion bid for the notorious news outlet, a group of pacifist Mennonite investors has successfully taken ownership of Fox News and are planning to turn it into a channel that promotes […]

Unger Suspicion

Oil Company to Reroute Pipeline Through World’s Most Famous Cemeteries

September 7, 2016 Andrew

DALLAS, TX Despite significant opposition to the project, one of the world’s major oil companies has elected to route their new pipeline to make sure it damages as many sacred burial grounds as possible. The pipeline has […]

Unger Suspicion

Tourists Shocked by Absence of Bonnets in Southern Manitoba

September 6, 2016 Andrew

NEUBERGTHAL, MB With an attractive exchange rate and lower fuel prices, thousands of tourists from North Dakota and Minnesota have been lured north over the border to Manitoba this summer, due in part to the […]

Unger Suspicion

Justin Bieber Buys Vacation Home in Elkhart, Indiana

September 3, 2016 Andrew

ELKHART, IN Mennonites throughout northern Indiana are excited to have a celebrity in their midst, as Canadian heartthrob and model citizen Justin Bieber has recently purchased a $30,000,000 mansion in Elkhart. The beachfront property on […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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