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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Oil Company to Reroute Pipeline Through World’s Most Famous Cemeteries

September 7, 2016 Andrew

DALLAS, TX Despite significant opposition to the project, one of the world’s major oil companies has elected to route their new pipeline to make sure it damages as many sacred burial grounds as possible. The pipeline has […]

Unger Suspicion

Tourists Shocked by Absence of Bonnets in Southern Manitoba

September 6, 2016 Andrew

NEUBERGTHAL, MB With an attractive exchange rate and lower fuel prices, thousands of tourists from North Dakota and Minnesota have been lured north over the border to Manitoba this summer, due in part to the […]

Unger Suspicion

Justin Bieber Buys Vacation Home in Elkhart, Indiana

September 3, 2016 Andrew

ELKHART, IN Mennonites throughout northern Indiana are excited to have a celebrity in their midst, as Canadian heartthrob and model citizen Justin Bieber has recently purchased a $30,000,000 mansion in Elkhart. The beachfront property on […]

Unger Games

Michael Phelps Spotted at Local Gravel Pits

September 1, 2016 Andrew

GRUNTHAL, MB Just weeks after breaking Olympic records, world champion swimmer Michael Phelps was seen leisure swimming at the gravel pits just outside Grunthal, Manitoba. “He had a bit more of a beer belly then I […]

Unger Suspicion

French Police Arrest Mennonite Women for Not Dressing Sexy Enough at the Beach

August 26, 2016 Andrew

CANNES, FRANCE In an effort to enforce their arbitrary and inconsistent definition of secularism, the French government is now cracking down on Mennonite women who are “not dressed nearly sexy enough to be at the beach.” […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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