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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Empty Peavey Mart to be Replaced with Empty Pizza Hut

January 28, 2025 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Less than a year after opening its doors, the Peavey Mart in Steinbach will be closing shop to be replaced by an empty Pizza Hut. “We were really hoping an empty Safeway store […]

Unger Suspicion

Rather than Read Group Rules, Area Woman to Write “Please delete if not allowed” Before Every Post

January 27, 2025 Andrew

BLUMENHOF, SK Area woman Diane Klippenstein has a longstanding tradition of writing “please delete if not allowed” before every single social media post. “Whether I’m selling my canned beets or inquiring what time the Co-op […]

Unger Suspicion

Volkswagen Owner Mocks Tesla Owner for Driving a Car Built By a Fascist

January 26, 2025 Andrew

FRESNO, CA After recently discovering the dark underbelly of Tesla CEO Elon Musk, area man Art Klippenstein is relieved to know he drives a car with absolutely no association with right-wing authoritarian politics. “I was […]

Unger Suspicion

Bloated Gassy Tourist Rushes for Nearest ‘Ausfahrt’

January 24, 2025 Andrew

MUNICH, GERMANY On a recent trip to Germany this winter, all the hearty schnitzels and sausages had Canadian tourist Pete Dueck, 47, in a constant need to break wind. “And the first thing I noticed […]

Unger Suspicion

Gulf of Mexico Becomes Latest Victim of Cancel Culture

January 23, 2025 Andrew

GULF OF MEXICO, MEXICO Americans were outraged this week after it was announced that their beloved Gulf of Mexico was going to have a name change just to appease some liberal snowflakes in Washington. “It’s […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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