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Unger Suspicion

Unger Suspicion

Katy Perry Attempts to Make Out with the Wrong Prime Minister

October 13, 2025 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON Pop superstar Katy Perry was spotted in what looked like some level of embrace with another former Canadian Prime Minister this week. “I don’t know what came over me,” said Perry. “I guess […]

Unger Suspicion

Abbotsford Fans Get Shout Out on Title Track of New Taylor Swift Album

October 5, 2025 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC There was a rush to the local MCC this week to get used copies of the latest Taylor Swift album, after it was discovered that Abbotsford fans got a shout out on the […]

Unger Suspicion

67-year-old Mennonite Man Measures 6 7

September 20, 2025 Andrew

MOUNTAIN LAKE, MN Area man Earl Klassen is celebrating his birthday this week by consuming 67 pieces of plautz. “How old are you, Earl?” said friend Dave. “Are you 60 …6 or is it 7?” […]

Unger Suspicion

Area Person Has Opinion About Issue

September 11, 2025 Andrew

PLACE Area person has opinion about issue and has expressed that opinion about issue on social media. “I couldn’t let this issue pass without formulating and expressing an opinion about it,” said Area Person. “It’s […]

Unger Suspicion

Encounter with Radiohead Song Sends Swiftie into Existential Crisis

September 7, 2025 Andrew

WINKLER, MB A recent encounter with Radiohead’s seminal 1997 track “Let Down” on TikTok  has spiralled Winkler-area Swiftie Melissa Sawatzky into a profound state of existential angst this week. “Never heard such a sad and […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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