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Unger Suspicion

Unger Games

Fred Penner and Al Simmons to Square Off in World Heavyweight Title

July 14, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Popular local children’s entertainers Fred Penner and Al Simmons will square off this fall to determine the World Heavyweight Champion. “I’ve got a lot of beefing up to do before then,” said Juno […]

Unger Suspicion

Manitoba Government Replaces All Winnipeg Emergency Rooms With This One Bungalow in Transcona

July 12, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The provincial government recently announced an exciting new plan to shut down all Winnipeg emergency rooms and move them to this old “fixer-upper” they found in Transcona. “Let me tell you, this bungalow […]

Unger Suspicion

Crazy Unpatriotic Canadian Celebrates 4th of July Three Days Early

July 1, 2019 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON Concerned citizen Mr. Yoder of Lancaster is livid this week after discovering that Canadians celebrate the 4th of July a full three days early. “It’s disgusting! Those Canadians have no patriotism at all!” […]

Unger Suspicion

Mrs. Reimer to Star in New Remake: “The Bible School Graduate”

June 26, 2019 Andrew

HOLLYWOOD, CA Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio? Indeed! A lot has changed in the past fifty years since the release of the 1967 classic The Graduate. Five decades later the film is being given a […]

Unger Games

CFL Adds New ‘Mennonite Player Ratio’

June 22, 2019 Andrew

REGINA, SK In an effort to increase the diversity of the league, the Canadian Football League has just announced a new initiative that requires teams to have at least seven Mennonite players on the field […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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