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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Grandma Dick Hospitalized After Searching for Images of Relatives Online

October 22, 2021 Andrew

FRESNO, CA Oma Dick just received something called an iPad from her grandchildren and was told she could search for absolutely anything on it. Naturally, the first thing the 92-year-old Mennonite grandma did was search […]

The Daily Bonnet

Frugal Alberta Mennonites Vote to Keep Daylight Savings

October 19, 2021 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB There has been considerable discussion over the past few years about the possibility of getting rid of Daily Savings time. While most are in favour of doing away with it, a strong […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Having Real Difficulty Solving this Maze

October 18, 2021 Andrew

AYLMER, ON Local man Peter Hildebrandt, 61, was one of, like, fifteen Ontarians who managed to successfully obtain their QR codes today, but spent the better part of the afternoon trying to solve the darn […]

The Daily Bonnet

Friesen from Reimer Avenue to Visit Reimer from Friesen Avenue

October 15, 2021 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Mr. Friesen of Reimer Avenue had a splendid evening chatting about politics and kids these days with Mr. Reimer of Friesen Avenue. “Last week I had Mr. Brandt of Loewen Blvd. and Mr. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Spectacular Northern Mennonites Light Up the Night Sky

October 14, 2021 Andrew

SELKIRK, MB Thousands of people across North America set up their cameras last night to witness a specular show by the Northern Mennonites. “We had Menno Simons. Dirk Willems. Even Miriam Toews made an appearance,” […]

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