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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Top 10 Stocking Stuffer Ideas for Mennonites

December 16, 2022 Andrew

Let’s face it. Gone are the days when a paper bag filled with peanuts is sufficient to satisfy the demands of a Mennonite child. These days all the city Mennos prefer socks filled with various […]

The Daily Bonnet

The Hottest Christmas Present This Year? Children’s Advil

December 13, 2022 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Thousands of Saskatonians lined up outside their neighbourhood department store this week to get their hands on the hottest present of the season – children’s Advil. “I haven’t seen anything like this since […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Looks Exactly the Same in AI-Generated Historical Photos

December 12, 2022 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Mrs. Irene Klassen of Steinbach was very excited about the new AI historic photo app her granddaughter Megan told her about. That is, until the results came in and all the photos looked […]

The Daily Bonnet

How to Send Hate Mail to The Daily Bonnet: A Guide

December 11, 2022 Andrew

Ahhh, hate mail. It’s always such a delightful gift to receive any time of year, but especially around the holidays. If you’re considering giving the gift of irrational angry vitriol this year, here are a […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Caught Listening to Charlie Brown Christmas Album

December 9, 2022 Andrew

BLUMENHOF, MB A stash of secular records were discovered under Garth Wiebe’s mattress this week, after a tip by prying neighbours led to a raid of the premises by church elders. “As you know, we […]

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