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The Daily Bonnet

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Invests Entire Life Savings in Pink Stanleys

January 19, 2024 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB Area woman Cathy Kornelsen, 34, has cashed out her mutual funds and put it all into pink Stanleys and Yetis. “Someday my grandkids will inherit these,” said Kornelsen of her water bottle collection. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman to Go Around Naked Now that Reitman’s is Closed

January 16, 2024 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Area woman Agatha Martens, 73, is concerned she’ll be left with absolutely nothing to wear now that Reitman’s is closing. Martens relied so heavily on purchasing her floral blouses and navy blue slacks […]

The Daily Bonnet

House Fails to Warm Up After Mennonite Man Puts on the Fireplace Channel

January 14, 2024 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB An unprecedented cold snap had John Goerzen of Edmonton trying everything he could to warm the house up. Unfortunately for Goerzen, putting on the fireplace channel did absolutely nothing to increase the temperature. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Creates His Own ‘Stanley Cup’

January 13, 2024 Andrew

LINDEN, AB Area man Stanley Wolgemuth is capitalizing on the Stanley cup craze by creating one of his own … using only a McDonald’s paper cup, some masking tape, and a little bit of ingenuity. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman in Existential Crisis Trying to Figure Out When to Throw Out the Christmas Cards

January 11, 2024 Andrew

GOESSEL, KS It’s mid-January and that means Mrs. Brandt is beginning to think about taking down the Christmas cards from her refrigerator. “I think it’s time, but then again, I feel kind of bad. We’ve […]

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