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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Aritzia Introduces New Line of Long Denim Skirts for Women Wanting to Look Like They’re in Some Weird Religious Sect

April 18, 2024 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB There were lines outside Aritzia at Polo Park this week as the store launched its new line of long denim dresses and other products inspired by the plain dress sects of southern Manitoba. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Tupperware Rep Finds Lucrative New Side Hustle

April 17, 2024 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Local Tupperware rep Anne Barkman has seen such an uptick in demand as of late that the 30-year-old mother-of-6 has decided to expand her line of products. “I was walking through the MCC […]

The Daily Bonnet

Rumours Fly as Mennonite Man is Spotted at Jewelry Store

April 13, 2024 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Area man Kyle Reimer, 23, was spotted at a local jewelry store this week, which sparked several rumours about an upcoming engagement. “Oba, I didn’t even know he was dating anyone,” said Mrs. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couples Compete to Have the Most Grandchildren

April 11, 2024 Andrew

ALTONA, MB It’s a race to the top for the Buhlers and Wiebes this week in the annual Grandchildren Sweepstakes. The top prize, which goes to the couple with the most grandchildren, is a weeklong […]

The Daily Bonnet

Steinbach Man Confesses to Meeting His Wife at the Frantz Motor Inn

April 8, 2024 Andrew

LA BROQUERIE, MB Area man Christopher Unrau admitted in a candid interview this week that he met his wife Crystal at the bar on the edge of town back in 1987. “For years we kept […]

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