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The Daily Bonnet

Your trusted source for Mennonite satire.

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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Just Realized that the Last Day of 2023 Will be ‘Eent Twee Dree Eent Twee Dree’

December 30, 2023 Andrew

SPANISH LOOKOUT, BELIZE Mennonites across the Internet were amazed this week when it dawned on them, via various memes, that the last day of 2023 will be eent twee dree eent twee dree. “Jauma, I […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Stage Production of ‘The Nutcracker’ Without All the Dancing

December 28, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB In what has been praised as the “most innovative” ballet production in almost a century, the Mennonite Nutcracker wowed a packed house in a North Kildonan EMB church basement this week. “I’ve never […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Shocked that Her Poinsettia Survived Until Christmas this Year

December 25, 2023 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB Area woman Ruth Enns has been awarded Horticulturalist of the Year by the local 4-H club after her poinsettia became the only one in Blumenort to survive all the way ‘til Christmas Day. […]

The Daily Bonnet

10 Mennonites Who Are Spelling Their Last Names Incorrectly

December 24, 2023 Andrew

I know what you’re thinking – “it’s my last name, so I can spell it however I want” or “who are you to say how our last name should be spelled?” And I’m sympathetic to […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man is Just About Ready to Start His Christmas Shopping

December 23, 2023 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Area man Dave Wiens figured he was just about ready to start Christmas shopping and so decided to venture out to the mall in Vanapag this morning. “I know a lot of my […]

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